Marianne Emery 2017. Powered by Blogger.

Just Choose Now...

This girl has mastered the art of being happy in the moment! 

For a society that is seriously addicted to instant gratification, we are so good at deferring the good stuff. Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I'll be so happy when...."? Or, "I'd feel so much better if..."?

Maybe instead choose to be happy "NOW". Choose to feel better "NOW".

I recently read several articles by one of my favorite relationship guru's that focused on the art of "choosing" your partner/spouse/relationships every single day. Really this applies to about everything in our lives.

By saying, "I'll be so happy when..." and deferring happiness to the time in our life when whatever it is we're daydreaming about changes or comes to fruition, we are not choosing the life that we're living in right at the moment. We often ignore all of the blessings, miracles and things right in front of us right at this moment that we should be happy about by choosing to live in the future. Chose to live NOW!!

Big changes came for me in my life when I stopped saying "I'd just feel so much better if I hadn't had chemotherapy, surgery, radiation and more surgery."  Darling, that ain't changing.... Focus your energy on thriving now, make it work for you. Just because you went through all of that, does not mean you can't feel great! (Yes, I talk to myself a lot, and just between you and I, yes, she does answer!)

By choosing to live now and finding joy, peace, happiness right at the moment, we're eliminating so much stress and freeing our minds to take the actions we need to better our futures. Honestly, if you look and open your mind to it, there is definitely something (and probably more than one something) around you to find joy in right now!!

The picture above was taken Saturday morning. It was almost 85 degrees and I had a whole wall of stone waiting for me to paint it, but... I was so happy to be changing the color of the stone and finally making my little house looked loved that I was smiling. Add to that the fact that I was doing it in my Superman t-shirt and it was a perfect day despite the heat which is pure torture for a women missing a bunch of lymph nodes!

"CAN'T" is really "WON'T"

I haven't blogged in forever. Mainly because I've been busy.
Busy overcoming the mess left by cancer.
Busy rebuilding my life.
Busy moving on.
I'm only busy because I haven't allowed "can't" to be a part of my vocabulary. But, I'm not going to lie to you, it took some work and a little bit of soul searching. I've had to smack myself around a bit to get here!

There are so many times that my response could have been, "I can't." For example, last year at about this time, I decided that I wanted to fulfill a lifelong dream and buy a fixer. Many of you know exactly how this turned out. I did it. If I had wanted to, I definitely could have told myself "I can't" for a multitude of reasons. Gutting this house was an extremely physical undertaking, and I won't lie, it hurt me, it was hard. It was challenging. There were nights I cried myself to sleep. Physically, it took a lot out of me. Was it worth it? Hell yea!! Am I glad that I didn't say "I can't!"? Hell yea!!

Specifically, the last year of my life has been one of learning (as if the 2 preceding weren't? Right? Honestly, I should have an honorary PHD). I made huge changes in my life. Looking back at all of the fears I had about making those changes, I almost said "I can't do this." Well why the hell not? It wasn't that I COULDN'T do it, it was that I just wasn't sure I wanted to do it. I almost told myself, "I won't do this! I won't start over. I won't rebuild. I won't reinvent myself." Wow!! What a colossal mistake that would have been.

I know what you're thinking. Is "can't" really all that different from "won't"? Can't is pretty much that you are unable to do something and no force, no matter how extreme is going to change that. For example: I can't lift my car over my head or I can't say that I have never been through cancer. Won't is a little different. Won't has everything to do with your own willpower and can be positive or negative. In this instance, we are talking about the negative "won't". I won't get up off the couch and go for a run. I won't eat the broccoli instead of the French fries.

Part of my "reinvention" phase (that I like to think of kinda like a snake shedding a skin no matter how much that grosses me out and makes me wrinkle my nose) was starting a new business. It would have been so much easier for me to say " I can't" and come up with a whole list of excuses including (but not limited to) my brain can't handle it, I don't have enough energy, I don't know enough, I don't know what to do.

At some point I had to smack myself around a few times and really take a look at my hesitations and my excuses. I had to break free of everything that was holding me back, and realize:


There are people all over the world that accomplish greater things than I'll ever undertake with more extreme limitations than what I'll ever experience. (Of course, they are my heroes and my inspiration!) I am learning to remind myself that I am my own worst critic and I am harder on myself than anyone else could possibly be. Furthermore, I have earned the right, and I have fought like hell for the opportunity to be and do whatever makes me happy! I have no intention of letting "can't" get in my way and intend for "won't" to only be a part of my life in a positive way (I won't eat that whole pint of So Delicious in one night....)

I'll Never Remember This But... BGETH

I stumbled across this inspirational quote this morning while sipping my coffee, keeping an eye on the puppy, thinking about what I need to do today, and praying that a functioning brain would decide to bless me with its presence today. (Clearly, I have been working on getting my multi-tasking abilities back. Having a puppy in the house is great practice, but I have a very long way to go.)

I sat my coffee cup down (missed the coaster and nearly dumped it right on the laptop). I smiled because the puppy has fallen asleep (apparently dragging a gallon of mud, dirt, and tree branches into the house are hard work) and does not need her mother's watchful eye on her right this very second. Aha! I can think about this for a few minutes. (Okay, it started out as a few minutes, and then went into over time.) After all, the things I need to do today can wait for just a few minutes. They are not going anywhere, and even if they did decide to wander off, I would forget that they were here in the first place so it would not make that much of a difference. I will probably never locate them again, so they must not have been that important.

Putting on this coat of many colors, every morning, so to speak is a choice. If I choose to feel blessed, grateful, excited, thankful, and happy, I am all set. Everything else will fall into place because I will not be allowing myself to get bogged down with life and all of the crap that comes along with it. It is just better for my emotional and physical health than allowing stress and chaos to destroy me.

I can make the choice every single day to feel BLESSED. Sometimes blessings do not jump out in front of you and smack you in the knee cap (like the wall, door, bed, etc., etc., that you keep running into- I do not do this, I am just trying to help you relate to what I am saying.) Blessings have a funny way of not seeming like blessings at the time, and can even initially present themselves in an ingenious disguise. It may be days, weeks, months, or years before you realize that something bad that happened to you is a blessing. But trust me, they are most definitely there, and probably in greater abundance than you even know.

I can make the choice every single day to feel GRATEFUL. First and foremost, every single morning that my feet land on the floor, even though things crack that never used to sound that way, I am grateful. While it may seem crazy and mundane and you might wonder if I am smoking the "wacky tobacco," I can be grateful when I find myself sitting at the dealership waiting for an oil change. Stick with me here. Needing an oil change means that I have been places, and that means that I have probably seen people, done things, and made memories and for this opportunity, I am grateful.

I can make the choice every single day to be EXCITED; this is a hard one for me. I can admit when something challenges me, and this does. As a gal who used to get excited about the small stuff, over the last several years, exhaustion made it impossible for me to muster excitement over anything. Life continually popped my excitement bubble, heck I am not even sure that for a while that there was even a bubble left to pop. But, I am working on this. I will find excitement and things to look forward to if it is the last thing I do... (What was I doing again?)

I can make the choice every single day to be THANKFUL. My life is not without challenges. Rather than becoming angry and bitter over my challenges, I choose to be thankful for those mishaps which make fabulous stories and give me inspiration for this blog (and the book which is a work in progress) which keeps all of you entertained. Daily, I discover people and things that I can thank the good Lord for. I do not even have to look that hard to find them. They are right in front of my face (thank God for that because my vision is not the greatest), and yes, I have smacked straight into them on more than one occasion because I am clumsy, klutzy, and very easily distracted. ( I trip over two of my greatest blessings, at least, a dozen times a day.)

I can make the choice every single day to be HAPPY. We are responsible for our happiness, no one else. While choosing to be happy, we are also responsible for not allowing anyone else to mess with that joy. Unhappiness can kill you, so this is a critical one. Making the choice to surround ourselves with other people who are happy, and people who care about our happiness is something we need to do.  Life is way too short for people who squash happiness like bugs, and frankly, I would much rather be smiling than frowning. I am no spring chicken, and wrinkles are way too fond of me.

Life truly is about choices. Choose wisely because you never know how many redos you are going to get. Open your eyes and really take in your surroundings, not the stuff, the people. I honestly believe that it is within people that we find our greatest joys...

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