Nor-mal


As cancer patients, we find ourselves holding our breaths very often.  The days and hours waiting for news are filled with anxiety and tons of emotions that range from panic to fear.  We hold our breath and wait to hear that white blood cell counts are "NORMAL".  We hold our breath and wait to hear that MRI's are "NORMAL" and we hold our breath and wait to hear that PET Scans are "NORMAL".  All we want is "NORMAL" even though our definition of "NORMAL" has been forever altered by a cancer diagnosis.

Thankfully, even in my altered mental state, I was not stupid enough to hold my breath waiting for the results of my PET Scan, because I most certainly would have passed out by now.  But, I finally got the call.  The call that I tried not to think about too much this week, because in my heart, I knew what the results were going to be.  Call it women's intuition.  Call it being smart enough to listen to what my body is telling me.  Or just call it being positive.

I knew when I saw the call come up on my phone, they weren't calling to remind me that I have an appointment tomorrow.  They were calling to tell me that the results of my PET Scan were "COMPLETELY NORMAL!".  I was just about rendered speechless, and could barely speak to the women through my tears.  Suddenly, everything came into focus.  It no longer matters that I'm retaining 20 pounds of water and my ankles look like they belong on an elephant.  It doesn't matter that all of my fingernails are falling off.  And it doesn't matter that my head is covered only in light blonde peach fuzz.  I'm just gonna put on a pair of long pants, paint my fingernails and put my wig on and celebrate this news.

I am cancer free!



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