The New... The Improved... CANCER FREE M!

I'm back... And surgery is complete!  I cannot tell you how much better I feel to have this off of my "to do" list.  My husband and my mother laughed at me on Tuesday morning, Rob said I was way to "chipper" for someone heading off to surgery!  Can you blame me, I just wanted it over and done with- and I'm finding it's very hard to be apprehensive about something if you're putting all of your energy into concentrating on smiling, so that is what I did.  I concentrated on smiling.   We had to be at the hospital at 5:30 which meant that we were up at 3:30, in the car by 4:30 and walking into the hospital right at 5:30, and I was smiling, despite the fact that my hubby was drinking a cup of coffee that smelled pretty stinking fantastic and I was not allowed to have any.

There was a little bit of chaos at the hospital.  The plastic surgeon had ordered a block to help me with the pain post surgery.  But, the breast surgeon hadn't signed off on it, and none of the nurses were willing to do the block unless she signed off on it. I can tell you that I was not happy that the first news of my day was that I wasn't getting a pain block.  Then there was an issue with hooking all of my IV lines up to my port.  It just seemed to be one thing after another... way too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

My breast surgeon came flying into the room around 7:45 (15 minutes after we were supposed to be in surgery) with a huge smile on her face.  She always looks kind of like a military general about to storm a country- or a woman with a huge secret, I'm never sure which.   She asks me, "Do you want to see me next Wednesday or Thursday for your post op appointment" (I take this as a good sign, talking about the future means that I'm definitely going to come out on the other side of all of this breast removal nonsense.)  She tells me we're going to talk about my fantastic pathology results and how long I am going to live.  Sure, Doc- sign me up for Thursday, that's a conversation I definitely want to have.

My anesthesiologist's name was Dr. Perky (it would be kinda funny if he was a breast surgeon, huh?  I bet he hears that one a lot! ).   He promised me all kinds of wonderful drugs that were going to make me feel fantastic, and make everything a blur- I was okay with that...  Trust me when I say that I didn't feel a thing.  I remember talking to a nice woman named Mona as she wheeled me down the hall way- she is a breast cancer survivor- 10 years- woo-hoo, way to go Mona!  They wheeled me into the surgery room and I got a good look around, panicked a little bit because the room was such a mess that I was pretty sure I was in a supply closet and not an OR.  Thankfully the anesthesia kicked in before I was able to have a full blown panic attack over the messy OR.  I still don't know if that was in my head, or if it was real, I seem to remember thinking the same thing when I had my 1st surgery, but I'm not 100% sure.

And the next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room.  I still felt nothing, and I couldn't keep my eyes open, I have no idea how long that went on.  There is no concept of time in a recovery room, it's a wild sway between consciousness and unconsciousness.  My awesome recovery nurse snuck my hubby in once I was able to keep my eyes open for more than 2 seconds and have a conversation with her.  He came with a whole cup of ice chips which made my day- I was so happy to see him and the ice chips- you can't even imagine.  

I was home and tucked in bed by 5:30 which felt really good.  There is just something about your own bed when you've been through an ordeal.  Nothing feels better!  And of course, I was very happy to see my boxer kids.  And, even happier yesterday afternoon when they both jumped up in bed with me, and settled in for a nap.  My boxers are such an awesome source of comfort, and I could tell that they were both very concerned about their mama!  How did I get so lucky?

Today is Day 3, and I'm definitely feeling better than I did yesterday.  The pain isn't as intense, and I'm feeling like I am getting some of my mobility back!  I am hoping that by tomorrow I can say goodbye to the Percocet, but we will see how the rest of today goes.  I hate the way that pain meds make me feel, very drowsy, and a little woozy- not 2 of my favorite feelings.  I was extremely happy to be able to get a shower this morning, and remove all of the bandages- but, I was so nervous to see my incision.  The pictures that you see online are very scary, but my incision looks nothing like that.  I've heard all kinds of stories about women freaking out post surgery. I did not freak out, I did not panic, actually I was pleasantly surprised.  Oh, sure, it's not black and blue yet, and I know it will be, but still, my surgeons did a fantastic job.   It was nothing like I was expecting.

I know that I was cussing as I pushed myself through lunges, squats and all kinds of ab exercises over the last several weeks, but I am so grateful for my strong legs and abs at this point, because I am counting on them big time.  It's my abs and my legs that are getting me in and out of bed, helping me make coffee, feed the dogs, and pick stuff up off the floor.  My abs, legs, and back are very vital at this point.  See, I just knew that was a good idea... but I didn't know this was why!