Well, I did it.  The day that I have been waiting for the last 6 weeks finally arrived.  Okay, I cheated, but only by 2 days.  Does that really count in the grand scheme of things?  I couldn't wait another darn second.  Every muscle in my body was screaming "WORK ME OUT!".  I couldn't ignore the needs of my muscles right?   For the last 4 days, every single time I would start to do something else, my mind would wander off into workout land.  We have to listen to our bodies, and apparently our minds!

So, last night I suited up.  The anticipation was great.  I had a lot of qualms about working out with tissue expanders, and these two miniature, hard as rock cantaloupes that are attached to my chest... but I trudged forward anyway!  The tissue expanders move, and it just feels funky when they get it in their damn minds to re-situate themselves- no fears, I can nudge em' right back!  (Take that!)  I just knew that I was going to feel so much better after a good, hard workout!  I cannot tell you how I crave normalcy!  I just want to feel normal, look normal, be normal!  (Patience my dear, patience!)  Working out is the only thing that I really have control over- I can't make my hair grow any faster.  I can't make all the goofy, funky feelings in my upper body go away... but I can return most of my body to a normal, strong state.  If this makes me a control freak, than so be it!

It has been my plan all along to return to working out by completing another 21 Day Fix, with a few challengers in tow, just for moral support!  I am actually just 5 pounds away from my pre-chemo weight (heck, that could be the twins adding that 5 pounds!) so I don't have that much more to loose.  Once I'm done with this challenge, I'm on to Piyo for strength and flexibility, but I thought it would be like a little post-mastectomy party to do the 21 Day Fix again!  I have maintained the eating and Shakeology part for the last 6 weeks- but the workouts were restricted.

So, how did it go?  I finished it!  I made it the whole way through. I was tired, sweaty, and extremely weepy by the time I finished.  (Can't really explain the weepy part!) Granted, there were some modifications.  My left side (aka the cancer side) is weaker than my right side- but I'm a right handed girl, so my right side has definitely gotten more use over the last several weeks.  All of the stretching that I have been doing has really paid off.  I have full range of motion on my right side, and am at about 95% on the left.  I was able to do most all of the exercises with weights, although there were a few that just didn't feel quite right after a few tries, so I dropped the weights and finished the set without them.  Don't wanna be injured my 1st day back in the saddle!

Today, I feel great!  I can definitely tell that I worked out yesterday! (Love, love, love that feeling!)  My legs are pretty sore, but the twins seem to be okay!  According to plan, I am supposed to do an upper body workout today, but I think I'm going to do lower body today, and upper tomorrow to give my upper body a rest.  I know that my lower body can take it, but I don't want to over do it on my chest... give the girls a break!  They've been through hell, right?

I have been pretty un-emotional throughout this whole cancer business.  But, that's typical for my personality type.  I'm more likely to push my way through something, and reflect back and be all melancholy about it afterwards than I am to be an emotional train wreck while dealing with it.  I am getting to that point now.  I'm looking back and saying "Holy hell!  What the heck have I just been through?".  Last night, being able to workout again, after recuperating for 6 weeks, I think that's why I got all weepy.  It just hit me what I had been through!  Between that an the adrenaline, it took me a few minutes to compose myself!  And, at least 15 times in the last 24 hours, I've thought to myself, "I am so blessed to be here!".  It's true, I am lucky to be alive!

1 comment

  1. Hi Marianne,
    Congratulations on getting your mojo back! I am so happy and proud for you! Your honest and revealing post is such a powerful source of inspiration for so many! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and your winning spirit with us at the Healthy, Happy, Green and Natural Party Blog Hop. I am pinning and tweeting this amazing post!


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