This is complicated really. Probably too complicated for a brain that belonged to a blonde to begin with. And definitely too complicated for a chemo brain, but then almost everything is too complicated for a chemo brain!...I've been doing some really bizarre things lately. I'll never be able to figure out if these somewhat comical moments are caused by lingering chemo brain, or if I should be welcoming the return of my "blonde moments". Frankly, I had thought the worst of the "chemo brain" was behind me. I was pretty confident that the hair on my head would hold some of the brain cells in... I seem to be remembering much more (I haven't had to look at my drivers license to remember how to spell my last name in several weeks), and I am relying less and less on the post it notes (thank goodness for that, because I was contributing to a huge growth in sales at 3M all by myself!).
So I am left to wonder, is it chemo brain, or a blonde moment? Last night, I went to bed with the back door open. I mean the whole way open. I had apparently, at some point before retiring let the dogs out, and forgotten to close the door. I didn't know anything about it until this morning when Lucy jumped out of bed and ran like a crazed boxer straight through the kitchen and out the back door. I panicked at first, even went as far as to yell, "Lucy, STOP!". She was running so fast, and I didn't know the door was open, so I was pretty stunned when I didn't hear the sound of a boxer crashing into glass. Now I'm left to wonder when the "Florida Critters" will start rearing their little heads in my living room. There is bound to be complete pandemonium, I will be shocked if I do not have at least one frog and one lizard in the house (it wouldn't be the first time!).
I have a real problem with remembering if I closed the garage door (in my defense, my brother also has this same issue, so it's entirely possible that this could be hereditary). And I worry about it, probably excessively because the door between the house and the garage can open if the pressure shifts and hits it the right way (I worry that the dogs could get out if the door would blow open!). Monday, I left the house, and got the whole way out to the round about when I had that "uh oh" moment. "Did I, or did I not close the garage door?" That is the perfect moment to have these nervous breakdowns because I'm already in the roundabout (I swear that roundabouts were invented for people just like me- people who couldn't remember if they turned off the coffee pot, unplugged the iron, or shut the garage door!). I returned home, and found the door was indeed shut. But, it mustn't have been very memorable, because I got a mile further than I had originally, when I turned around to check the door for the second time that morning. I sure hope my neighbors aren't paying attention- they would probably think it's early dementia- frankly I have my concerns.
Yesterday, I drove right past the bank. Yep, right past it. Wouldn't have been too bad, except I did it twice. 3rd time's a charm, right? And my husband wonders why I usually set the GPS no matter where I'm going, it's usually the 1st thing I do when I get in the car, after I figure out where I'm going. (The only complication with this fix is, I had to shut the voice off because it drives me crazy- YES, YOU CRAZY BITCH, I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO TURN THERE.... STOP TELLING ME! So, if I forget to watch the screen (probability of this is very high...), it's easy to miss the turn.
I searched and searched the other day for my handbag. I usually put it right on the kitchen counter when I come in the door. I went back out to the car in the garage at least 3 times- I was a little concerned that I had left it in the buggy at the grocery store. But, since the car won't start unless the key fob is in the car somewhere, I figured I hadn't done this. Lucy and Duke sat and watched me like I had gone criminally mad as I ran from room to room, and out to the garage.... I finally found it.... in the refrigerator (I suspect L &D knew it was there all along....). My husband wonders what I do all day... Uh, hello!
I put food in the crock pot several days ago. 2 hours later, I could not figure out why the meat did not seem to be defrosting. I thought the crock pot was broken, and transferred the food into crock pot number two. Why did it not occur to me to check the nob and see if it was turned on? Sometimes, and only sometimes, food cooks faster when you turn the appliance in charge of cooking the food "ON!". I'm just sayin.... Take it for what it's worth.
There are definitely more of these kinds of moments, but I'm sure it won't surprise you much to know that even though I know there are more of them, I cannot remember what they are. I wonder if there are known side effects on the brain from radiation?....
What was I talking about again?
Speaking of which.... today was a milestone radiation day! I am 1/3 of the way done! So far so good, my skin is holding up really well- (although I have a rash on my chest that I can't figure out what is causing it. I suspect the Herceptin might be to blame, because there have been some other weird things going on too!) It is a tiny bit on the pink side, but I am religious about the aloe and the extra moisturizing cream at night. I really do not want anything to knock me off schedule! I need to get this done!
Gotta run, I know there is something I'm supposed to be doing....
No comments:
Post a Comment