I have some business to clean up before going to my regularly scheduled blog post. I have not been blogging much- there are 2 very good explanations for this. The most pressing reason is that I have developed peripheral nueropathy in my right and left hands. I am having a very hard time typing (and doing a lot of other things that require hand coordination) and it's making crazy. The second reason is that I am swamped with work related stuff, and just don't seem to have a lot of spare time on my hands.
Now that my excuses have been made... an update from Life After BC.
At some point last week, I decided I wanted a re-do of my 40th birthday. Yes, you read right. I wanted to re-do my 40th birthday. (I know, most people don't even embrace 40 once, who the heck would want to do it twice?) I really had this day built up in my head- as I should have. 39 was a rough year for me, and I had a lot to celebrate. But fate intervened and a whole bunch of other crap went on that other than my "girls day out" made my birthday really crappy. I wasn't in a very good place mentally, I was scared to death of radiation, and just feeling out of place in general. I know it sounds silly, but I really wanted to turn 40 looking like myself, not some altered by chemo and cancer version that I don't even recognize when I look in the mirror. I guess I was expecting fire works, or at the very least some damn sparklers. But, no. A shit storm would have been a better description of my 40th birthday. So, heck- I'm Superwoman. If I want a redo of my 40th birthday, then by golly a redo I shall have.
I put a lot of thought into this and thought about what was really going to make happy if I were to re-do my 40th. I decided that it was best to do a whole week, with the 3 month anniversary of my 40th right smack dab in the middle. The first few days of my 40th birthday, I decided on several different activities that I was going to do that would brighten someone else's day. Can I tell you, that just felt good? I was so fortunate to have so many people doing "little things" for me during my treatment, that it was time to pay it forward a little bit. I've decided that this just needs to be a regular practice in my life. It's so amazing to see people's reactions when you do something totally unexpected for them. I really think if more people made a habit out of this, there would be just a tad less violence in the world? Maybe people would smile more? Just maybe...
In the middle of all of this re-birthday excitement I found myself with a brand new, shiny, white car that I love so much I'd like to sleep in it. It smells so good in there, and it's sporty and energetic and a lot of fun. It feels like me. While I hadn't been planning on a new car, every time I got in my other car, all I could think about was going to chemo treatments. So for me, this is a fresh start. And thankfully, I still love looking at it, so I can always find it, and I haven't found myself trying to get into the wrong car....yet.
I did not get a chance to blog about that ridiculous incident. Let me fill you in if you missed my Facebook post about it. 2 weeks ago, I committed to pulling a sweet little boxer girl from animal services on Tuesday morning on behalf of Florida Boxer Rescue. Monday night, I decided around 8:00 that there was no way that I could go pick this little girl up without getting her an appropriate collar first. (My brain works in odd ways, and sometimes not at all, but I just have to go with it.) So, I hopped into the car and went off to the pet store. I was so pleased with the pretty pink ribbon collar that I picked out that when I came out, I didn't notice that I was getting into the wrong car. Before you start thinking that I must have been drinking, the car was the same make, model, and color as my car, and it was parked right next to mine. And... it was unlocked. (And... you should have seen this collar!) I jumped in and attempted to start it. No good. It wasn't until a bunch of little alarms started to sound that I looked around me and realized that I was in a car with a black interior, mine was tan. OOPS! I did a quick survey of the area, hopped out of that car, and got the heck out of there. I won't lie, I looked in my rear view for flashing red and blue lights more than one time. I laughed the whole way home. I've never done that before! Hubby just shook his head. I can say one thing about this chemo brain nonsense, it definitely makes for some really good stories.
I drove her to the Kissimmee airport where we met up with Pilots and Paws- a local group that flies a lot of boxers for Florida Boxer Rescue. She and I spent about an hour that morning together, and boy did I fall in love with her. Unfortunately, she had to go, and I hung around while they outfitted her with ear muffs and a harness and strapped her in for flight. How cool is this? How many dogs can say they've been flown around in a private plane?
This was my first "official" rescue. While I've been a volunteer with FBR for nearly 2 years now, I've always stayed behind the scenes doing advertising stuff, and writing the newsletter and holiday letter. But, this... this was fantastic stuff. I can't think of a better way to spend a Tuesday morning, can you? I'll definitely be doing that again!
On the eve of the 3 month anniversary of my 40th birthday (yeah, I know it sounds a little ridiculous), I walked into a salon sporting a barely there pixie cut, and walked out feeling like myself. Amazing how miracles can happen right? While I was so disappointed to not be ready for extensions on my actual 40th birthday, I was happier than a pig in mud to have them for the anniversary of this birthday! I can't think of a better way to say "screw you" cancer, than by feeling absolutely fabulous, and I FEEL FABULOUS!
As my 40th birthday redo week winds to an end.... I really want to say how fortunate I feel to first of all be alive, but cancer free, and basically healthy. Yeah, I've got some issues (hey, did I just say that?), but believe me, I am working around them. While I wish that I could say that I am a kid again with no responsibilities, that's not gonna happen. I am proud of myself for finding ways to bring joy to my life, which somehow manages to over-ride all the blah of adult responsibilities.
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