Thursday, June 29, 2017

Embracing What The Good Lord Decided Was Right For Me

3 years ago, I was the picture of efficiency; spoiling 2 boxers, maintaining a 3000 square foot home and yard, and running a business 7 days a week. There were no mountains of dirty laundry, the house was clean, and I cooked dinner almost nightly. Bills were paid, everything was always in it's place, and never once did we run out of toilet paper.  Everything in my life just miraculously fell into place. I swear that there was a tiara lending this super power, perfectly perched on my head that said "Queen of Efficiency".

Fast forward to 2017; the tiara is gone. Umm. This is bad. You had better sit down. Yesterday morning, I turned the microwave on without anything in it. Last night, I grabbed the vacuum to clean something up and was seriously stumped when it didn't turn on.  Did you know it had to be plugged in? Yea, me neither. When did that happen?

A typical morning looks something like this: 5:00 wake up, let the dogs out, start coffee, realize I have to pee, then remember I need to make the bed, oops forgot about the coffee, go to look at my watch and realize I'm not wearing it, go find the watch, "you need to do laundry",  coffee... make the coffee.... Wait! You need to take out the trash! You've got mail! Oh no, Duke's getting mad, breakfast is late! Feed the dogs and come to the realization that I need coffee- the coffee I never finished making. And if I somehow end up on Pinterest, it's all over with!

I suppose I should be bothered by this. (And if I could remember for more than 2 seconds how inconvenient this all is, I probably would be!) But, seeing how I have made an art form out of finding silver linings, embracing my ditziness and my new 2 second attention span seems like the most fitting choice. 3 years post chemo, clearly it isn't going anywhere. Except that I am a problem solver by nature...

So, I recently started a wonderful new vitamin regimen; Lifelong Vitality.  I had great hope that these 12 pills were going to change my mental situation (maybe it just needs more time, it's a huge job!?). I have crazy amounts of energy, I sleep much better, nothing aches, allergies are gone, and I don't remember the last time I had a headache, and in general I feel like I'm 25... but then again, maybe I don't really remember what 25 really felt like. All of this, and I am still the ditzy blonde that everyone always assumed that I was, but never was until now.

In light of all of this, it is time for me to accept that I'm never going to find that tiara again. So, I am fully committed to embracing what the good Lord decided was right for me (for the next 2 seconds anyway). He definitely had a plan, and while it doesn't really seem like a much sought after situation, when I really think about it, it is ideal. I don't stress over the little things anymore (granted that is because I've forgotten about them), and I'm always happy and cheerful. I truly enjoy the things that I am doing rather than rushing through them just to get them done. My home, office, handbag and car are always adorned with little notes (complete with smiley faces because they make me happy) reminding me where I'm supposed to be or what I need to take care of. Sometimes, the phrase "blissfully ignorant" applies to me.

And I am okay with this... Excuse me for a moment, I think I started some laundry.

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