I GOT MY MOJO BACK!

WORKOUTS HERE I COME..... AGAIN!

Well, I did it.  The day that I have been waiting for the last 6 weeks finally arrived.  Okay, I cheated, but only by 2 days.  Does that really count in the grand scheme of things?  I couldn't wait another darn second.  Every muscle in my body was screaming "WORK ME OUT!".  I couldn't ignore the needs of my muscles right?   For the last 4 days, every single time I would start to do something else, my mind would wander off into workout land.  We have to listen to our bodies, and apparently our minds!

So, last night I suited up.  The anticipation was great.  I had a lot of qualms about working out with tissue expanders, and these two miniature, hard as rock cantaloupes that are attached to my chest... but I trudged forward anyway!  The tissue expanders move, and it just feels funky when they get it in their damn minds to re-situate themselves- no fears, I can nudge em' right back!  (Take that!)  I just knew that I was going to feel so much better after a good, hard workout!  I cannot tell you how I crave normalcy!  I just want to feel normal, look normal, be normal!  (Patience my dear, patience!)  Working out is the only thing that I really have control over- I can't make my hair grow any faster.  I can't make all the goofy, funky feelings in my upper body go away... but I can return most of my body to a normal, strong state.  If this makes me a control freak, than so be it!

It has been my plan all along to return to working out by completing another 21 Day Fix, with a few challengers in tow, just for moral support!  I am actually just 5 pounds away from my pre-chemo weight (heck, that could be the twins adding that 5 pounds!) so I don't have that much more to loose.  Once I'm done with this challenge, I'm on to Piyo for strength and flexibility, but I thought it would be like a little post-mastectomy party to do the 21 Day Fix again!  I have maintained the eating and Shakeology part for the last 6 weeks- but the workouts were restricted.

So, how did it go?  I finished it!  I made it the whole way through. I was tired, sweaty, and extremely weepy by the time I finished.  (Can't really explain the weepy part!) Granted, there were some modifications.  My left side (aka the cancer side) is weaker than my right side- but I'm a right handed girl, so my right side has definitely gotten more use over the last several weeks.  All of the stretching that I have been doing has really paid off.  I have full range of motion on my right side, and am at about 95% on the left.  I was able to do most all of the exercises with weights, although there were a few that just didn't feel quite right after a few tries, so I dropped the weights and finished the set without them.  Don't wanna be injured my 1st day back in the saddle!

Today, I feel great!  I can definitely tell that I worked out yesterday! (Love, love, love that feeling!)  My legs are pretty sore, but the twins seem to be okay!  According to plan, I am supposed to do an upper body workout today, but I think I'm going to do lower body today, and upper tomorrow to give my upper body a rest.  I know that my lower body can take it, but I don't want to over do it on my chest... give the girls a break!  They've been through hell, right?

I have been pretty un-emotional throughout this whole cancer business.  But, that's typical for my personality type.  I'm more likely to push my way through something, and reflect back and be all melancholy about it afterwards than I am to be an emotional train wreck while dealing with it.  I am getting to that point now.  I'm looking back and saying "Holy hell!  What the heck have I just been through?".  Last night, being able to workout again, after recuperating for 6 weeks, I think that's why I got all weepy.  It just hit me what I had been through!  Between that an the adrenaline, it took me a few minutes to compose myself!  And, at least 15 times in the last 24 hours, I've thought to myself, "I am so blessed to be here!".  It's true, I am lucky to be alive!

It's Just 21 Days...

Do you have any idea what you can accomplish in 21 Days?  I have found myself to be far more effective at my goals if I plan in short bursts, and 21 Days is perfect. I planned and committed to 5 habits, for 21 days.  

I guess you're probably wondering how much of a difference just 21 days of  5 habits can make?  Well, I was surprised by the difference in my body, my mind and my overall spirit in just 21 Days.  But, let me also tell you, that once you've done these things for 21 days, it's very easy to do it for another 21, and another 21.... you get the idea.

Here are my 5 changes:

1.  I committed to eating clean.  The first thing that you absolutely must do is rid your pantry, refrigerator and freezer of "unhealthy", "processed" or "high fat" foods.  I filled up an entire trash can the first time I did this- I had a lot of chemo craving junk food in my pantry.  It actually felt good to toss all of the crap...  But I was seriously amazed by the amount of junk I had in there.  And when I actually looked at the labels on some of that stuff, I was shocked that I had actually purchased those items with the intention of putting them into my body.

The second thing you absolutely must do is fill your pantry, refrigerator, and freezer with "clean" food.  My freezer was filled with about 60% meat, 20% bread, 10% ice cream, and 10% pre-packaged, high sodium junk.  Now it's about 20% lean meat, and 80% frozen fruits and vegetables.

If you only have healthy food around you, you'll be a lot more successful at eating clean.  Plan ahead, stock your kitchen with healthy, clean foods that you love to eat!

2. I committed to drinking water, and I mean a ton of water.  The more water you can drink in a day the better you're going to feel.   

Drinking water increases energy and relieves fatigue, promotes weight loss, flushes toxins,  improves the complexion, maintains regularity, boosts the immune system, prevents cramps and sprains, puts you in a good mood... and wait for it... saves you money.  (Water is a lot cheaper than those sugary, calorie intense drinks that you're always grabbing.)

Some tips to help you be successful at drinking enough water:  have a water bottle that you love.  Keep it filled.  Find ways to challenge yourself, get a water drinking buddy, be accountable.  

If you're not overly fond of plain water, there are a lot of ways to spice it up!  I drank at least 5 gallons of water infused with cucumber, mint, and lemon, but you can add all kinds of fruits and herbs to water to make it not taste like water.  

3. I committed to working out every day.  Find an activity that will get your heart rate pumping for at least 30 minutes every day.  For the last month, I have been walking, at a pretty good clip while waiting to be released from surgical restrictions.  Prior to that, I was working out with the BeachBody 21 day fix.  I really loved that there was a different workout for each day of the week.  The workouts were 30 minutes long, easy to follow, challenging, and a lot of fun.  I'm looking forward to starting Piyo in the next couple of days.

Think about the kinds of activities that you like to do when selecting your 30 minutes of exercise.  Don't set yourself up for failure.  If you're not really fond of running, don't commit to running 30 minutes a day.  Find your "fun" workout, if it's something that you really enjoy, it will be easier to stick to and you'll be more successful.  

I am a strong believer in the positive effects of strengthening your body.  When I took the challenge, I was thrilled with the results.  Not only did I loose 12 pounds (I have since lost another 10), but as my body strength increased, my moods just kept getting better and better.

4. I committed to drinking Shakeology every day.  I start every morning off with Shakeology and a combination of fruits and vegetables in a smoothie.

To be honest, prior to the end of May, I didn't know anything about Shakeology (or really Beachbody for that matter).  I had just finished 18 weeks of intense chemo therapy and I felt like I was 90 years old.  I had to do something, something had to change.  

I had exactly 2 weeks from the time I found out about Shakeology until I was scheduled for a double mastectomy. I was determined that I was going to feel like a human again by the time I went for surgery, and I did.  I am now a little over 2 1/2 months out of finishing my chemo therapy, and I can honestly say that I have more energy, and feel healthier than I did prior to being diagnosed with cancer.  My surgical team could not get over how quickly my body has healed not only from the surgery, but from the chemo.  I attribute my fantastic results not only to my clean eating habits, but Shakeology.

5.  I committed to 15 minutes a day of personal development, every day.  I read motivational or inspirational books.  I researched ways to keep myself healthy.  I talked to people who were encouraging and positive. But, I did something every day that gave me a feeling of empowerment. 

Find something that motivates or inspires you, and engage in it for at least 15 minutes a day.  There's no right or wrong answer to this part of the challenge.

My first 21 Day Challenge started as the Beachbody 21 Day Fix.  But, it transpired into so much more than that.  I stuck with the eating habits and plan long after the initial challenge was over, and obviously the other habits stuck with me as well. 

Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = ........

At the suggestion of my BeachBody Coach, I recently started reading "THE COMPOUND EFFECT" by Darren Hardy.  I'm not done with it yet, but I am completely fascinated by the principle of the "Compound Effect".  The first thing that I came across that really made sense to me was this:

Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = RADICAL DIFFERENCE

I really gave this a lot of thought this morning as I sat in my chemo chair (nothing but time on my hands, might as well make something of it, right?).  I tried to reflect back on times in my  life when I have made small changes that didn't seem like they would amount to much.  Let me give you an example, several years ago, my husband and I tried the Nutri-System diet.  We both lost the weight that wanted to loose, however we returned right back to our normal eating habits once the pre-packaged (cardboard) food was gone.  But, there was one change that both of us took with us from that diet.  We don't drink pop anymore!  At the time, I didn't think much of it, but when you apply this principle, it makes a big change over time in our overall health and probably our waist lines.  Eliminating a couple of cans of pop a day doesn't seem like it would amount to much, but now that I look at this a different way, I realize that we've saved ourselves thousands upon thousands of calories (and money too) over the last 5 years not drinking pop.  Not to mention the fact that pop consumption was replaced with water consumption- that in itself is a radical and healthy change! We definitely benefited from that one.

I think that a lot of us have things about our lives that we would like to change. Sometimes it seems like the change is just so big that we either attempt to put the change out of our minds and leave everything "as-is" or we start attempting to change and fail because we took on too much at one time.  I've been there before on that one.

I found myself in a situation that I wanted to change at the end of May.  I was successful at heading in the direction of change for several reasons.  

1. I was determined to make the change.

2. I set small, realistic goals for myself. 

3. I had excellent support & motivation.

Rather than thinking about all of the things that I was going to have to change, I just changed a few small things.  I added some intensity to my daily exercise.   I didn't jump off the deep end and commit myself to a 2 year membership at the local gym.  I didn't run out and buy a ton of new exercise equipment.  (I did buy a video however!-- Small change)  I didn't make a ton of commitments that would have been hard for me to keep.  I made a 21 day commitment (It's a small change).  When you look at something on a smaller level- it makes it so much easier to start it and stick with it.  Granted, I met my goal on this challenge.  Did it change my life?  Yes.  Am I exactly where I want to be?  No.  But, it certainly got me on the right track.  If we don't ever start making changes, how can we ever expect to finish?  Change is a work in progress... And as I am finding, one good, small change, leads to another good, small change...

Think about something in your life that you've considered changing for a while.  Have you taken actions to make those changes and jumped ship because you weren't seeing results fast enough? (Understandable, we live in a world of instant gratification.) Or have you put it off because the task is so daunting?  It has been my personal experience in life, that sometimes, changing just one negative behavior, can lead to others following.  For example: When I started the 21 Day Challenge, I cleaned out all of the junk food in my pantry.  Once I did that, there wasn't anything left to snack on.  The result was not only that I stopped eating things that were bad for me and my waistline, but I had to go in search of things to eat that were healthy for me.  Once I started eating those things, I immediately saw my energy levels increase.  My hair and nails are growing like crazy, and I feel a lot better.  The better you feel, the easier it becomes to make more positive changes.  And I am continuing to make changes in the food in our home, and on our table.  

What small single positive change can you make in your life that could result in a RADICAL DIFFERENCE?

Goals, Plans, Changes....

I admit, I've always been better about making short term lists as opposed to long-term lists, and making plans, again short-term than at setting goals.  And I've always been better at setting goals and making plans for career oriented stuff than personal stuff.  I spent the majority of my career in outside sales, and it was always a challenge for me to set goals, but I did it: monthly,quarterly, yearly.  One of my favorite supervisors once told me "You can't hit a target if you can't see it, and you can't hit a moving target."  From that point on, setting my professional goals was a breeze.  After all, I wanted to be the best, and wanted to reach for the stars, but there was no way I was going to do that without having goals and creating a plan to get there.

Early on in my career, I would get frustrated because I would set goals, and I would make a plan and then something would derail that plan.  Frustration would overcome me, and the following month I would have a hard time setting my goals for the upcoming month.  I remember feeling that if things were just going to mess up my plans, why bother making them?  It wasn't until later in life that I learned that shit happens, and things will mess up your plans (boy, if I didn't know that before, I sure do know it now.  Cancer is very good at sending that message, and it's LOUD and it's CLEAR!) but rather than focusing on the setback, we have to figure out how to work around it, and get back on the path to our original plan.  It was when I figured that out, that I really began to see success professionally.  As cancer warriors, we all know that there are setbacks and disappointments, and more often that not, they tend to be huge, and very ugly.  But, we have to keep trudging forward...

Moving forward with my life, post-cancer isn't going to be any different than it was with my career in sales.  I have to make a plan, and I have to set goals for myself.  I need to think about where I want to go, and what I want to accomplish.  Most importantly, I think that I need to figure out what things about my life prior to cancer weren't working.  What wasn't making me happy?  What was stressing me out?  What was unhealthy?  Those things definitely need to be changed, and so the list making begins.  The only logical reason that I can come up with for me acquiring cancer, is that I needed to make changes in my life and this was the only way for it to happen.  (Ahh... God, just so you know, the next time I seem to be having a hard time hearing something, you can send a little bird, or if that doesn't work, just drop a boulder, the cancer was just a tad on the extreme side!)

One thing that is crystal clear even before the list making begins, life is to short to constantly be rushing from one thing to the next and enjoying nothing.  We don't really ever know how much time we have, or what life is going to throw at us, so we really should be doing our best to enjoy every day and not waste one single moment.  I know that the past 8 years, prior to cancer, were spent working.  And that was about it.  I rushed from home to work, from work to the grocery store, to home to cook dinner, clean the house, and do the laundry.  Once a year, we would take a vacation, (if we somehow managed to make time) and we would spend the entire vacation answering calls from the stores.  Over the course of 8 years, I missed weddings, baby showers, birthdays, and just about everything else that didn't involve the furniture business.  And then, I've got a huge cancer diagnosis staring me down, and the past 8 years come flashing back to me, and it just SUCKS, I know that I made the wrong choices, and I'm beating myself up pretty hard for making those choices, but they can't be undone.  Going forward, all I can do is not do the same things over again.

I told my husband a few days ago that there is no way that I can return to that life.  I cannot return to a life where I rush, even when I don't have to because I don't know how to do anything else.  I did not just endure what I have endured to go back to that life.  And it's  not only me that the hectic, chaotic lifestyle is bad for, I don't want him to keep doing it either.  That plan definitely needs to be re-written- for both of us.

My overall health is another area that needs serious attention, but with that one, I think it's going to be easier, and I've already taken steps in that direction.  I have always been a pretty healthy person.  Meaning, other than the occasional sniffle, and the hereditary sinus infections, I have not spent a lot of time sick. (Boy oh boy, when I do get sick, I get really sick!  I don't half ass anything!)  I've been in Orlando 2 years and don't even have a PCP here.  I have maintained the same weight that I was when I graduated high school, and have actually even been thinner than that at different points.  I can attribute my skinniness to anxiety, constant hyper-activity, too much coffee, too little sleep, and never taking the time to eat because I didn't have the time.

All of that is no longer acceptable.  I do not ever want to feel this crappy, or this weak ever again.  And lets face it, all of the things that were making me skinny, were negative and extremely bad for my health and my mental well being, post cancer, I can't keep doing all of these negative things to my body.   I want to return to the healthy, fit body that I worked so hard on in my 20's.  So, here I go.  I have embarked on a journey to eat healthier, and strengthen my body through working out on a regular basis.  I have cleaned out the pantry, the fridge, and the freezer and all of the junk has been removed from the house.  I have made charts, and lists, and plans of how I'm not only going to loose my chemo weight, but I'm going to be the healthiest cancer survivor that I can possibly be.  I've got a strong plan, a great coach, and a huge motivation; all of the things that I need to succeed. 21 Day Beach Body Challenge, HERE I COME!

I know there are going to be set backs- I've got a huge one coming up in a couple of weeks.  My mastectomy is seriously going to derail my work out plan, but it doesn't have to completely ruin my good eating habits (although my mother is coming, and I'm sure the first thing she will do is make me something to eat).  But, just like with everything else in life, we have to find a way to work around them to get to our final goal.  I had a long conversation with the surgeon yesterday about daily activity post-surgery.  He reluctantly agreed that I am still allowed to go for walks, but I am not allowed to go anywhere near a treadmill or a weight for at least 6 weeks. I agreed, with serious puppy dog eyes, but I agreed.

I had serious plans and goals for the whole cancer business.  I was going to be finished with everything by the end of the year.  I even had my 11 Herceptin treatments mapped out on the calender.  My 11th treatment is scheduled for December 26th....  Then yesterday, I find out that I cannot have my final reconstruction surgery until 6 months after finishing radiation.  Ugh.  That sucked, but hearing the reasons why, made a lot of sense, and I guess I have to be grateful that my surgeons are actually doing things the right way rather than rushing patients through processes just to get paid.  So, my plan has been mildly altered, but it's for my own good, and I will find a way to work around it.

I am going to forge on.  One step at a time, in the direction that I want to go.  I am going to be accepting of challenges and of set backs and realize that those are just a part of the plan, no matter how unexpected, or how crappy they are.  I am going to be understanding of the fact that sometimes in order to reach their final stage, goals have to be altered or changed completely.   One thing is for darn sure... this cancer business has certainly made me a lot stronger, and I totally refuse to give up.  I will succeed, because I am crazy enough to think I can...

I think I can... I think I can.  I KNOW I CAN! (and so can you!!)

I'll Just Have the Herceptin, Please!

(The above video has nothing to do with this post, other than the part about the IV pole dancing... but I saw it several weeks ago and really loved it.  I've watched it 4 or 5 times... The song is perfect for a cancer patient... getting stronger is what it's all about, right?)

Friday was my first "solo" Herceptin treatment.  Being the information junkie that I am, I scanned the internet all of last week trying to find out what I could expect from my solo infusion.  Would you believe I came up with nada?  Zilch?  No info?  I wanted to know what I was going to feel like during and after, and I couldn't really find any good information.  So, I am taking it upon myself to share some valuable information for all of my fellow HER2+ warriors out there.

After my treatment on Friday, I have 10 stand-alone Herceptin treatments left.  And frankly, with all of the swelling that I was experiencing last week, I wasn't sure that I was even going to get the infusion on Friday.  But, I'm on a schedule, and if all goes according to plan, I will get my last infusion on December 26, 2014, and I prefer not to mess with my schedule.  Besides, it's already marked on the calender, and it's in ink; it can't be changed.  (My next treatment is scheduled 3 days after my surgery, and if it kills me, I will drag myself there!)  So, I plopped myself down in a chair and said "Hit me up!".

So, this infusion definitely did not make me feel like chemo did.  Of course, I wasn't loaded up with steroids prior to arriving at the hospital.  And they didn't pre-load me with Bendryl and more steroids, so that was a definite plus.  I did get a nice big bag of Lasix, and incidentally spent the next hour running back and forth between one of my chemo buddies, and the restroom with my dancing partner (the IV pole).  I'm not sure if it was the Lasix, of the aerobic jaunts to the bathroom, but 2 hours later, I was down 4 pounds.

Friday, I felt perfectly fine- NORMAL, even.  (For now, in an effort to maintain my positive outlook, and charge forward with my life, I have changed my definition of normal.  I cannot expect to feel exactly like I did prior to 18 weeks of chemo therapy and cancer, so I have a new normal.)  My new normal is being defined as:
     1.  I have some amount of energy, and feel even somewhat "Spunky".
     2.  I do not require a middle of the day nap to make it through the day.
     3.  I might be inclined to be awake after 10 PM.
     4.  I can accomplish more than 1 or 2 big things in a day without feeling tired.

Saturday morning, I had a date with one of my favorite people,  best friend, and one of my greatest cheerleaders (I am pretty sure that she and I were sisters separated at birth).  I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate my clean PET scan than brunch with my girlfriend at a fundraiser for Florida Boxer Rescue!  And... spend the morning in the company of some of my favorite fellow volunteers, and more boxers than I've ever seen in one place!  (I was in a lot of trouble when I got home!  My boxer kids were not happy that I returned home smelling like another dog... or several other dogs.)

I'm not sure if it was the heat, or just the excitement of it all, but by the time I got in the car to come home, I felt pretty drained.  And I remained very tired the rest of the day.  I did kinda feel like I had the flu a little bit, although my stomach felt just fine.  I couldn't shake a strong desire to curl up with the boxer kids and sleep at 7 P.M.  (I fought it off, and did laundry and went for a walk instead, but I was curled up with said boxers by 9!)  I had minor aches, nothing like I'm used to, though!  I definitely think these 10 treatments are gonna be easy to handle.  I can handle a little bit of sleepiness and some teeny, tiny aches and pains.  (As long as I get to say "Screw you HER2 cells" at the end of this... because I'm sassy that way....)

Today, Sunday, 2 days later, I would say I feel "NORMAL" (the new normal, anyway).  I definitely feel rather spunky, and have a bit of a spring in my step...  I've got a lot I want to do today.  I must go to the grocery store because I am starting my Beach Body 21 day Challenge tomorrow, and I definitely do not have the appropriate food in the house.